Are we different people when we speak another language?

People who speak more than one language may already have felt that they do not express themselves in exactly the same way in all of them.

In Portuguese, someone may feel more reserved, careful or emotional. In English, they may speak in a more direct, relaxed or confident way. Some words come naturally in one language, but feel artificial when translated. Some experiences also seem easier to explain in one language than in another.

Does this mean that we change personality when we speak another language?

Not exactly. We remain the same person. However, each language can activate different memories, emotions, cultural references and ways of relating to others. Research finds changes in how some people describe themselves and, in certain situations, in how they behave. These changes also depend on the other person, the context and the cultures with which someone identifies: they are variations in the expression of personality, not the emergence of a new personality.^[1][2][3]

Language is not only a way of transmitting information

We often think of language as a tool: we have an idea, choose words and communicate it to another person.

In reality, the relationship between language and thought is more complex. The language we use can guide what we pay attention to, how we group certain experiences and how we describe what we feel. This does not mean that it determines what we are able to think: its effects tend to be flexible and dependent on the task and context.^[4]

Some concepts have a direct translation, but others lose part of their meaning when they move from one language to another. A word can carry cultural, emotional and personal associations that are not present in its apparent equivalent.

For example, saying “saudade” is not exactly the same as saying “I miss you” or “nostalgie”. This does not mean that only Portuguese speakers can feel saudade. It means that languages group and foreground emotional nuances in partly different ways. A study across thousands of languages found both cultural variation and common structures in the way emotion concepts relate to one another.^[5]

Learning another language, then, is not only learning different words for the same things. It can also give us new ways to distinguish, communicate and organise aspects of experience.

Each language is connected to a different history

The languages we speak are not all learned at the same moment or in the same circumstances.

A first language is usually linked to childhood, family, school, early relationships and early emotional experiences. A second language may have been learned during adolescence or adulthood, through travel, study, work, films, friendships or migration.

Each language therefore becomes associated with different contexts.

Someone who learned English through travel, international friendships and positive experiences may associate it with greater freedom and spontaneity. By contrast, their first language may be more connected to family expectations, responsibilities and older emotional memories.

The opposite can also happen. For someone living in another country, the second language may be associated with work, bureaucracy or the feeling of not being able to express themselves with full precision. Their first language may then represent greater safety, intimacy and emotional depth.

It is not only the structure of the language that produces these differences. It is also the history lived through it.^[1][2][3]

We may seem more extroverted in another language

Some people report feeling more confident, sociable or direct when speaking a foreign language.

This does not necessarily mean that they have developed a new personality. It may mean that the second language is associated with contexts in which they learned to behave differently.

Culture also influences what is considered an appropriate way to communicate. However, no culture is entirely “direct” or “reserved”: there are important differences between people and situations within the same community.

When we speak another language, we may adapt, even without noticing, to the social norms we associate with it and to the person with whom we are speaking. Tone of voice, gestures, humour and the distance we keep from others may all shift.^[3]

Speaking in a foreign language can also create a sense of freedom. Certain sentences may feel less embarrassing because they are less closely tied to rules and expectations internalised in childhood. In a recent series of studies, bilingual participants often preferred a foreign language for embarrassing topics, anticipating fewer emotional and interpersonal consequences.^[6]

For that reason, someone may feel more spontaneous in English and more contained in Portuguese, or exactly the opposite. Proficiency, cultural identity, the other person and the history lived in each context can all make a difference. Being bilingual does not, by itself, mean identifying equally with two cultures.

Emotions can have different intensities

A first language often has a particularly strong emotional connection, but it is not necessarily the emotionally closest language at every stage of life.

It is the language in which many people heard their first words of affection, comfort, criticism, anger or fear. Words were not learned only through definitions, but also through emotionally significant situations.

For this reason, certain expressions can provoke a stronger reaction when they are heard or spoken in the first language. A phrase of affection may feel more intimate and criticism may hurt more. Memories also tend to become more accessible when the language used to recall them matches the language of the context in which they were experienced.^[1][2][7]

A language learned later can create more emotional distance. This may help some people speak about difficult, embarrassing or painful events. For others, though, it is precisely in that language that they find the words closest to what they feel.

For example, describing a traumatic experience in a second language may feel less intense than describing it in the first. This distance can make it easier to speak, but it does not occur for everyone. A second language can become deeply emotional when it is connected to important relationships, migration or a central part of life, and changing language should not automatically be interpreted as protection or avoidance.^[8]

This does not mean that what is said is less true. It simply means that the language used can alter the emotional closeness to the experience.

Do we think differently in a foreign language?

Research suggests that using a foreign language can influence some decision-making processes.

A language we know less well may make reading and responding take longer. But taking more time does not necessarily mean thinking more carefully.

This phenomenon is sometimes called the “foreign language effect”. In some studies, participants made different decisions when problems were presented in a second language. A meta-analysis found effects in certain moral and risk tasks, but also showed that they vary according to the type of decision, language proficiency and how the task is presented.^[9]

However, this does not mean that thinking in a foreign language is always more rational or more correct. Lower linguistic proficiency can also make complex information harder to understand, limit available vocabulary and increase mental effort.

The influence of language depends on several factors: fluency, the age at which the language was learned, the context in which it is used and the emotional relationship the person has developed with it.

Language choice in psychological consultation

These differences become especially relevant in psychological consultation.

Psychotherapy depends, to a large extent, on the ability to put inner experiences into words. Through language, people describe emotions, thoughts, memories, relationships and difficulties that may never have been shared before.

Some people prefer to have sessions in their first language because they find greater emotional precision there. They can explain what they feel more clearly and access older memories more easily.

Others prefer to speak in a second language. The emotional distance they sometimes feel in that language may help them approach subjects that would feel too intense, embarrassing or painful in their first language. The second language may also be the one that feels emotionally closer.^[10][11]

Preferences may also change depending on the topic. Someone may speak in English about work, because it is the language they use professionally, and switch to Portuguese when remembering a family situation. Certain words may only appear in one language because that is where they best represent the experience.

This shift does not need to be seen as an obstacle. It may tell us something about the person’s experience, but it may also simply be the easiest way to find the words. Research in this area still relies mainly on qualitative studies and small samples. It is therefore important to explore the meaning of language choice with each person, without assuming that one language is always more authentic or that switching represents avoidance.^[10][11][12]

In my clinical practice, I offer psychological consultations in Portuguese and English. Being able to choose the language in which a person feels most comfortable can facilitate communication and allow therapy to better respect their history and identity.

More than searching for a perfect translation of every sentence, what matters is creating a space where the person can communicate authentically. At times, this may mean using one language most of the time. At other times, it may involve moving between languages when that movement helps something important to be expressed.

Language should also be considered in psychological assessment

This question is equally important when psychological tests and assessment instruments are used.

A person may speak fluently in a second language and still have more difficulty understanding abstract expressions, emotional vocabulary or complex instructions. Performance on a task may therefore reflect not only cognitive or emotional abilities, but also the relationship with the language in which the assessment is carried out.

Translations of instruments are not completely neutral either. A question that seems simple in one language may acquire another cultural or emotional meaning in another.

For this reason, preferred language should not automatically be confused with dominant language. Learning history, schooling, current use, cultural context and even the regional variety of the language may be relevant. A correct translation also does not, by itself, ensure that the instrument has suitable norms, validity and reliability for that population, or that scores can be compared directly across versions.^[13][14]

We do not have several personalities, but several ways of being ourselves

Speaking different languages does not create completely separate personalities. However, each language can give access to different parts of our experience.

One language may bring us closer to childhood and family. Another may be associated with independence, work, travel or an important relationship. At times, one may intensify emotions; in other circumstances, that same language may help us speak about them.

The differences we feel do not mean that one version is false. They all belong to the same person.

Language is not only a way of expressing who we are. It is also one of the contexts through which we build, remember and understand our own history.

Perhaps, for this reason, the most useful question is not “which of these versions is really me?”, but rather: “what does each language allow me to feel, think and say?”

Revised on 6 October 2026.